Hats and Hoods Now Encouraged!
In a shocking turn of events, the wearing of hats and hoods in class is not only allowed, but encouraged. After cracking down on them originally, new vice principal Mr. Sabo has had a change of heart: “I was a kid once, too. I know what it’s like to wear sweatshirts. Without the hood, you feel incomplete.”
At first it seemed as though Mr. Sabo had a hat-less agenda, but it is becoming increasingly clear that he actually loves hats. Perhaps the original ban was due to jealousy; Mr. Sabo didn’t want to see a high school student with a better hat than him. However, he has now embraced a hat-filled high school. It’s hard to walk the halls with a hat on and not get complimented by Mr. Sabo. One student even overheard Mr. Sabo enthusiastically say, “I’ll never ban hats again!”
Now, high school staff are encouraging students with bad haircuts to wear hats. They have found that messy hair is more of a distraction than hoods or hats. Some teachers are even requiring students suffering from a bad hair day to cover up their hair.
While in the past hats have only been seen in the hallways for Spirit Week, Mr. Sabo has reported, “I hope to see every day look like Spirit Week hat-wise. Students only really wear beanies or baseball caps- hopefully they will start embracing the hat-ban ban and show up wearing top hats, cowboy hats, or even the elusive propeller hat.”
I polled several students regarding the ban on the hat ban. Many were confused, but enthusiastic. One sophomore reported, “I used to want to wear hats to school. Now that they are encouraged, I don’t want to.”
Students aren’t the only ones happy about wearing hats in school. Mr. Mazure seemed overly excited about being able to cover his bald head: “Now I can pretend I have hair!”
Overall, there aren’t many unhappy about the encouragement of hats and hoods. Mr. Sabo hopes to see even more hooded heads in the hallways this spring.
April Fools! Hats and hoods are still NOT allowed at school